Pray about it.

Saturday entry...This is the outside of the orphanage that houses 600 children in China. It was once "home" to a beautiful dark eyed two year old girl, my daughter now of 17 days. She was my daughter even before she was born really. God knew despite the distance and circumstances between us, that he would bring us together. She would be our daughter. Our eyes are not the same, although Im envious of her beautiful eyes. Her laughter is precious. Her personality is sweet and playful and gentle. I am so glad to be her "momma".

 

Our travel group received two daughters from this orphanage on March 18th. 600 minus 2. That's easy math. Pray about adopting from China. There are so many beautiful children waiting! They are loveable and deserving. Did you know, 1 million baby girls each year are abandoned each year in China? Due to the one child policy, poverty, you cannot be a single parent because you are without a child permit allowing you to have a child or because of a existing special need or medical need the child has. 1 million. People say, "they make it so hard to adopt". I say, "do the work the child is worth it". Yes the process is long. Talking about it does not rescue the child. Do something! The people we met, our guides, the sweet kids. Each part of our trip was memorable and God orchestrated every part of our trip.

How can so many children live in one place and be orphaned? How come a family has not come? How long will they wait? The Word says, I will not leave you as orphans but I will come to you. God intends for each child to have a family. Not one should be lonely.  The kids are waiting for someone to come rescue them. If noone comes, nothing changes for them! Which is so sad. Many will never be adopted and never have a home or family. When we were in China, one morning at 4am (China time) we facetimed my mom and I remember being so tired that morning and crying telling her about AnnaBelle. I said with my own mouth, "what if we had not come mom" with a pain in my heart and tears in my eyes. With all sincerity. Just pray about adoption. Pray about it and ask the Lord if its part of His plan for your life and a orphaned child. He will work out every detail if its what he has called you to adopt internationally. Pray pause ponder.

When I look at this picture and think she lived there for two years, I am grieved. It makes me want to crawl into bed and cry!! Really and truly. AnnaBelle was on the first floor with 100 other children.  And very few caretakers. She cried many nights that no one came and wanted to be held. I know this

because she climbs on me and snuggles into my chest like an infant loves to be held. There she finds comfort and goes to sleep each night.  Her crib brings so much distress, I don't know if its because she spent so many days in one or because its a trigger for a grieved and missing crib mate or a reminder of the orphanage or because of the time spent in the crib each day. I do not know what the source is but each night I pray God will heal the memories and restore her emotional health. We are still co sleeping and Im waiting on her to show signs of trust and peace before attempting the crib again. I am certain she was hungry based on the hoarding of food we saw in the first two weeks. And based on the fact she opens the pantry door and points to the food atleast 5-6x a day. She eats all the time.  She eats more than Joy, four years old.  I know this, she is so happy! She is trusting us and is ease at home. She is always playing, dancing, smiling, laughing or teasing. Always. She loves music. She loves to make a mess in the kitchen. Joy said today she was "too messy".

Tuesday 4-9-13

The girls played baby dolls today. This is not a new thing for Joy but AnnaBelle on the other hand has wanted nothing to do with stuffed animals or baby dolls. She is afraid of them all.  Today she went and got Joys favorite baby doll, of course and was holding it. It wasnt long she had the bottle and was feeding it. Then we wrapped it up in a blanket so she could push it in the stroller. She was saying "baby baby" and "night night". Very sweet to see her caring for the baby and enjoying playing. Each day AnnaBelle shows us something new about herself. On friday it was that she could clap. One day she called herself "mei mei" which is Little Sister in Mandarin and I call her that often.  Joy is showing herself to be the big sister and is sharing her space and toys easier each day. She is apalled at AnnaBelles messes most days. Today during lunchtime, as usual AnnaBelle cleared her highchair tray of everything she doesnt want for THAT moment. It was her remaining boiled egg which splattered the baseboard once again and went everywhere. Boiled egg became mobile. My baseboards have either 1. never been wiped clean so many times in a day in the dining room OR 2. never been so dirty during mealtime.  Its a toss up, either way mealtime around here is messy and loud. AnnaBelle eats and jabbers and makes the biggest mess you have seen and Joy works very hard to eat the minimal food on her plate. Its the battle of the day- mealtime.

Either way I am so thankful for AnnaBelles arrival home and Joy being the Big Sister! There is a never a dull moment and my house is always a disaster! AnnaBelle is fast and knows how to clean out my kitchen cabinets.  She is always lining something up and looking in the pantry for another snack.

Its quiet and both girls are asleep. I am going to dig in my secret chocolate stash!!

Wednesday

Today is the first day I remained awake during the girls nap time. It's a challenge because I lie down with AnnaBelle. And most of the time Im so tired I go to sleep. Today, I needed some mommy time alone and wanted to eat icecream alone. It's life's simple pleasures.
Yesterday we did our first post adoption home study. It was crazy. Glad it's done.
The girls are so busy! AnnaBelle jabbers and make messes as she toddles around. I like to just watch her. Today she mimicked Joy dancing. It was so cute! Joy hugged her while they rode the backyard slide down. AnnaBelle was all smiles! It might have been her first sliding experience. She is feeding herself with a spoon. She took a bath alone last night and loved splashing! She says "bye bye", "meow", "momma", "baba(daddy)", "jei jei(big sister)" and has learned to growl. She is happiest when she is eating! No kidding.  She loves to be outside. She pushes Joys baby stroller everyday. She likes her room and toys. She is playful and so happy! It's amazing to see what love can do in two weeks to a sweet child.  She is beautiful and tiny. Joy is grown up, smart, creative and independent. I'm so thankful to be home!

Happy Home

Feels so good to be home!
AnnaBelle is adjusting and is full of life. We are working through some sleep disturbance and the ability to put herself back to sleep. Jet lag for me continues. But its going to take time. Children really are such a delight from the Lord. It melts my heart to see the girls play together. Joy shared her bath last night with AnnaBelle. I asked her if she enjoyed sharing her bathtime and she said "oh yes". She tickled AnnaBelles toes during the bath and enjoyed making her giggle. There are moments of needing a referee while everyone learns to share toys and space. Joy has been so grownup and AnnaBelle motors around and talks babble we cannot understand. I am so glad to hear her babble and watch her toddle around. She has alot of personality and has moments of showing that she is infact a 2 year old. Yes, temper fits are present.
Yesterday she rode in the carseat for the second time. And fell asleep before Hartley. She didnt cry but looked around and started dreaming. The ride home from the airport in the dark and the first carride was much different and less peaceful.
Natasha, my travel companion of all time went back to Denver on Saturday. I have missed her already. We had such a good time together. She is going to be a great mom and I hope somewhere in her spreadsheet includes a return to China for a baby girl.
Easter was a beautiful day and Joy soaked up dying Easter eggs in the front yard. AnnaBelle loves to eat eggs and kept trying to peel the hard exterior. Joy was a bit distraught over the eggs that were partially peeled and picked at. The girls were so pretty in their Easter dresses! AnnaBelle has such tiny feet and wore these sparkly 9-12mos shoes Aunt B got her at Christmas. Joy on the other hand has large feet and longer legs than a month ago. She grew while I was away for two weeks.
I am so thankful for my two girls and thoughtful husband, Milton. I am thankful to be home again and live in this small town with no rush hour traffic or public transportation. Im thankful for the sunshine that I can see and feel on my face. The Lord has such a sweet plan for our lives, if we can let go and trust Him. He is trustworthy. I didnt think I would survive being away from Joy for two weeks. I cried taking off in Denver and in San Fransisco. But when we held AnnaBelle for the first time 2 weeks ago in the Cival Affairs office in Zhengzhou, I was certain we were right in the bullseye of where the Lord wanted us to be. Holding this small and afraid two year old who cried like an infant, I knew why we had traveled so far. What if we had not come? For days she slept with one eye open making sure we were still present. Making sure I had not laid her down. In addition AnnaBelle was not well, she was sick with more going on than we realized intially. She cried and I cried. I felt guilty that we had no come sooner which was out of our control. A child should always be held. Always have a family. Always feel loved. Always kissed and hugged. Every orphan needs a family and love. Slowly each day she began to come out of her timid shell and trust us a little more for her care and constant love and affection. After a few days she began calling me "Ni ni" meaning Nanny. Then the next day she called me "momma". The greatest words to hear! We learned that her orphanage was one of the largest in that providence. It holds 600 children minus our 1 and another Violet, who was matched with a forever family on our travel group. There are so many children and not enough caretakers. We were told the children from her floor of 100 often shut down for 3-4 days crying alot. It was a reliable report. We chose not to visit but could have as both girls were having a difficult transition. I had planned to visit but on that day- it was obvious AnnaBelle was not up for the return to her orphanage. In 16 years I may regret that decision but it was the best one for that day and her emotional ability to cope. We had a couple adopting in our group that were both Pediatricians. I was so thankful when AnnaBelle was sick that they were willing to come to our room to see her. I had prayed for a Dr on our trip and he gave us 2 wonderful Christian people. Milton and I learned to know and very much enjoyed being with and respecting. Milton and I began praying over AnnaBelle daily for her health and emotional restoration. She was so timid and dependant but withdrawn. Like watching a flower grow and bloom, so has AnnaBelle. I see her motoring around the house making a big mess of the refrigerator magnets and she is a miracle! She has evolved and is fully alive! She is loved, she is our daughter, she is a sister, she is a cousin, she is a granddaughter and she is home!

First...

AnnaBelle had some first today I wanted to note...
She had cheesy macaroni and cheese.
Big first  she fed  herself independently!
She used her sippy cup today.
She wore her first tutu with Big Sis Joy and danced together.
We played outside and Joy pulled her on the trike. She is too short to reach petals.
She saw Louis for the first time. (She is afraid of him)
She watched Joy take a bath and hopefully will decide to join her soon.
She walked in the grass with shoes on, just a few steps in. Don't think she had ever seen it.
She played with her Big Sister!
She blew kisses today and waved bye saying bye bye!!! (Precious)
She wore her first rain boots and liked them. Was hilarious to watch her navigate with them on.
She had a food allergy reaction and has her first red rash.
Today was her FIRST day with her Forever family!
As I watched the girls play and run and giggle, I couldn't help but wander what AnnaBelle was doing without us and what were we doing without her?
I am so thankful God wrote our story with hers!!

Home Sweet Home

Guangzhou

We made it home late last night. We were welcomed by sweet friends and a loving family! Funny thing was, AnnaBelle was fussing the last 15min of the flight from Houston and had done so well. And she went to sleep mid fit. Really she did. Everyone was waiting to see her sweet smile and she fell asleep right before we landed. I strapped her in the ergo and she stayed asleep while everyone greeted her with happy tears. She fussed about her carseat ride, first time until Dumas then fell asleep. We were weary travelers! It was about 30 hours home, 12 time zones, a stop in Tokyo and many meals on the airplane coming home. AnnaBelle was a peach on the 12 hour flight Tokyo to Houston. She was so good. She slept most of the long flight home. She is teething both bottom molars and those have really hurt her. Especially the pressure flying. We made it though! Natasha Nightengale was a huge help, she was my banker, my pack mule and great company to laugh with at the end of the day. So thankful for her being my travel companion. Oh yea and she was always hauling dirty diapers to the airplane "lavatory". Big thanks Tasha!! By yesterday AnnaBelle was saying "Tasha". Very sweet. Today was our first day at home. AnnaBelle and Joy played hard together. She gave Joy her first kiss. AnnaBelle had not kissed anyone until today. Then she started blowing kisses and waving bye bye. Melting your heart yet? She babbled to Joy through both meals and we just giggled. She made many messes with the refrigerator magnets and dumping things out.  It was so fun to watch her play and hear her giggle and smile.  The trip was long, it was long in country but it was worth ever bit! Watching the girls dance silly in their tutu skirts from Meemaw today was so sweet. I am so glad to be home with my family!  And Im thankful to live in the USA. 

Clinic Day and the Zoo

Sweet smile!

It's Monday night here. We had clinic day today, each child was seen by general dr, ENT and wt and size taken by nurse. Then they drew labs for TB test. That was so
traumatic! They whisked the kids away and the parents waited outside. My AnnaBelle
was very scared when she came out. Our group went on a water boat cruise tonight and
had dinner. It was nice. The food was interesting but the ride was beautiful! 
AnnaBelle is busy playing and babbling beside me. Babble in Chinese is so funny to
listen to. Very sweet. She was so busy today. At lunch she dumped her bowl of rice
when she was finished. She has shown more independence and wanted down to walk more.
She has the sweetest giggle ever. 
Guangzhou has 17 million people here. It's closer to the coast so it's humid and
rainy. A very pretty city and much cleaner. I am counting down the days to leave for
home. I cannot wait to see my Joy girl and be home with both girls. AnnaBelle has
such a sweet disposition. When she plays she lines things up then moves them and
lines them back up. She is still sleeping with me which is interesting and will have
to be dealt with at home. For now we are snuggling. I bet she has never been
snuggled so much, if ever! It's bath and bedtime. 
The kids in our group are feeling better. Several have been sick. AnnaBelle was sick
first and others had different sickness. Goodnight from the noodle and sticky rice
nation. And millions of people. You cannot imagine the traffic and people. 

Clinic day

Natasha, AnnaBelle and Mommy

Tuesday at the zoo

Morning its Sunday. We are in Guangzhou for the last leg of the trip. I am so eager
to be home. AnnaBelle is doing good. We are working through nighttime sleep
disturbances. Been a little rough. She is smiling and babbling things I cannot
understand. Yesterday on the plane she was talking babble Chinese to the man next to
the window. He pulled the window closed which she didn't approve.  I love
seeing her smile and babble!  Her smile is so sweet. This week we will have a clinic
day, a tb test done, VISA interview and then print the child's vISA. Friday we
come home!!!  There are options for touring each day. 
Milton is stuck in Denver due to a snow storm overnight. Pray he gets home quickly.
He is traveling alone and Joy has been waiting for his return. She was teary when we
did FaceTime.  I'm equally missing her! 
Today I have to get diapers and wipes. That will require a taxi to Walmart. Should
be interesting. 
Our plane was very delayed coming here for a lightening storm. Natasha had a long
delayed flight coming in. 
We are good. I hope this week is Godspeed!