Saturday entry...This is the outside of the orphanage that houses 600 children in China. It was once "home" to a beautiful dark eyed two year old girl, my daughter now of 17 days. She was my daughter even before she was born really. God knew despite the distance and circumstances between us, that he would bring us together. She would be our daughter. Our eyes are not the same, although Im envious of her beautiful eyes. Her laughter is precious. Her personality is sweet and playful and gentle. I am so glad to be her "momma".
Our travel group received two daughters from this orphanage on March 18th. 600 minus 2. That's easy math. Pray about adopting from China. There are so many beautiful children waiting! They are loveable and deserving. Did you know, 1 million baby girls each year are abandoned each year in China? Due to the one child policy, poverty, you cannot be a single parent because you are without a child permit allowing you to have a child or because of a existing special need or medical need the child has. 1 million. People say, "they make it so hard to adopt". I say, "do the work the child is worth it". Yes the process is long. Talking about it does not rescue the child. Do something! The people we met, our guides, the sweet kids. Each part of our trip was memorable and God orchestrated every part of our trip.
How can so many children live in one place and be orphaned? How come a family has not come? How long will they wait? The Word says, I will not leave you as orphans but I will come to you. God intends for each child to have a family. Not one should be lonely. The kids are waiting for someone to come rescue them. If noone comes, nothing changes for them! Which is so sad. Many will never be adopted and never have a home or family. When we were in China, one morning at 4am (China time) we facetimed my mom and I remember being so tired that morning and crying telling her about AnnaBelle. I said with my own mouth, "what if we had not come mom" with a pain in my heart and tears in my eyes. With all sincerity. Just pray about adoption. Pray about it and ask the Lord if its part of His plan for your life and a orphaned child. He will work out every detail if its what he has called you to adopt internationally. Pray pause ponder.
When I look at this picture and think she lived there for two years, I am grieved. It makes me want to crawl into bed and cry!! Really and truly. AnnaBelle was on the first floor with 100 other children. And very few caretakers. She cried many nights that no one came and wanted to be held. I know this
because she climbs on me and snuggles into my chest like an infant loves to be held. There she finds comfort and goes to sleep each night. Her crib brings so much distress, I don't know if its because she spent so many days in one or because its a trigger for a grieved and missing crib mate or a reminder of the orphanage or because of the time spent in the crib each day. I do not know what the source is but each night I pray God will heal the memories and restore her emotional health. We are still co sleeping and Im waiting on her to show signs of trust and peace before attempting the crib again. I am certain she was hungry based on the hoarding of food we saw in the first two weeks. And based on the fact she opens the pantry door and points to the food atleast 5-6x a day. She eats all the time. She eats more than Joy, four years old. I know this, she is so happy! She is trusting us and is ease at home. She is always playing, dancing, smiling, laughing or teasing. Always. She loves music. She loves to make a mess in the kitchen. Joy said today she was "too messy".
Tuesday 4-9-13
The girls played baby dolls today. This is not a new thing for Joy but AnnaBelle on the other hand has wanted nothing to do with stuffed animals or baby dolls. She is afraid of them all. Today she went and got Joys favorite baby doll, of course and was holding it. It wasnt long she had the bottle and was feeding it. Then we wrapped it up in a blanket so she could push it in the stroller. She was saying "baby baby" and "night night". Very sweet to see her caring for the baby and enjoying playing. Each day AnnaBelle shows us something new about herself. On friday it was that she could clap. One day she called herself "mei mei" which is Little Sister in Mandarin and I call her that often. Joy is showing herself to be the big sister and is sharing her space and toys easier each day. She is apalled at AnnaBelles messes most days. Today during lunchtime, as usual AnnaBelle cleared her highchair tray of everything she doesnt want for THAT moment. It was her remaining boiled egg which splattered the baseboard once again and went everywhere. Boiled egg became mobile. My baseboards have either 1. never been wiped clean so many times in a day in the dining room OR 2. never been so dirty during mealtime. Its a toss up, either way mealtime around here is messy and loud. AnnaBelle eats and jabbers and makes the biggest mess you have seen and Joy works very hard to eat the minimal food on her plate. Its the battle of the day- mealtime.
Either way I am so thankful for AnnaBelles arrival home and Joy being the Big Sister! There is a never a dull moment and my house is always a disaster! AnnaBelle is fast and knows how to clean out my kitchen cabinets. She is always lining something up and looking in the pantry for another snack.
Its quiet and both girls are asleep. I am going to dig in my secret chocolate stash!!
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