One year later..

My girls are growing so fast. I need to slow time down! Milton always threatens to place a brick on Joys head to stop her growing.  She giggles and says "daddy".
Both girls had birthdays in February! I also had a birthday in February. It was a party month! A turned 3 and J turned 5. Dad says, "no wander we are broke. Everyday is a party around here". Then came valentines. The girls were overwhelmed by all the love and gifts.
One day J asked "is it winter on Mt. Everest? Would we need mittens there? Is it always winter up there?" I'd like to know where these questions originate from!
A on the other hand has a few motives each day, they are very consistent.
"Play mommas iPad, eat snacks and play outside" things are simple in her world but she is starting to ask "why momma?" The beloved questions begin!! Both girls love dress up and they can destroy a rooms cleanness so fast.  Joy has a few favorites but AnnaBelle wants to wear as much at one time as possible. It makes for interesting outfits.
A knows some shapes, letters and how old she is.  Colors are a guess still. She loves games and puzzles. Hasn't decided which hand to be dominate just yet. She is eating good and growing so fast! Was on the 50% mark on her last well visit plus one hep A shot. Boo boo.
J was in the 95% mark on her well visit at a sturdy 45# and 45in tall! She is proud to be 5 and enrolled in school for Kinder.  Long long legs that I will live through all my life. AB may live through them too. J loves nature, animals and anything messy. She is growing and ask to eat every two hours, I'm sure. I should set the timer!  She is funny by nature and loves telling jokes.  She ask to eat candy every single day. I think she has a cavity our first dental appt is next week.
AB brushes her teeth 3x a day and washes hands more than I can count. She loves water.

Is it possible this month we have been home one year? One year from gotcha day!! March 18th marks one year! What a day Milton and I will never forget. It was emotional, hard and wonderful. We felt like we were two years late, in many ways. But God knows all things and time. He has brought so much healing to ABs heart. We have watched her learn trust. It has been incredible. What a year! I learned so much through AnnaBelles transition and growing to 4. I learned a lot about parenting and myself and Gods long suffering. He is long suffering with us. He is in for the long haul! I'm thankful for that too.  Isn't that how God works? We are always learning...I think parenting teaches so much about Gods love and relationship towards us as his kids! Thankful to be home with AnnaBelle & thankful for her sweet smiles and bossy nature. Thankful Joy was willing to share her life and us with a sister!  They miss each other when they apart. And fuss when together.

Both girls were chasing one another to the top of the slide at the park one day, J yelled "I'm the leader" then AB yelled a few steps behind "no Joy I'm the leader!". Both are chiefs. No Indians.
I look at the girls and am so thankful for the blessings God orchestrated into our lives! What a lonely,
 boring, clean, quiet home this would be without them. My floors are always dirty and I always have dishes in the sink. And there is a never a quiet moment! We are eagerly watching the tulips come up outside. I'm thankful mr winter is almost gone. I am ready for springtime!  Thankful for my hubby
and two chiefs!!

Being with girls brings so much JOY to us! On our walk a few nights ago, J was so impressed with our dog. "He can stand in three legs mom..look!!" Haha. Having no idea what's happening while he stands on those three legs. We laughed and laughed.
Tonight on our walk, AB says "mom Louis is happy wike me. His tail goes wiggle wike mine". She stopped to wiggle her bum on the spot. :) so cute. I believe that summarizes this blog and ABs place in our family. She is happy!!  I will never forget where and how our journey started in Chin* with her. It was a cool day in GZ and rainy. We rode the bus with our guides and travel group. Such anticipation. What will she do? What does she like? Will she cry? Will she trust us? How long will that take? Will she call me momma? Will she smile? Will she play? Will she eat? Will she sleep? Will she want me? Nothing could have prepared my emotions for how I would "feel" that day to hold this child we had fallen in love with in October by a photo. It's unexplainable how God expands your heart for a child oceans away! His love is the same for us, it's extravagant. He gives us a extravagant love, to give away!! If we make space for it. It is only by his sweet spirit that happens. Oh my heart will never forget.  She is not the same as she was and neither are we! What a gift we have been given...



Adoption Registration (important paperwork) and finalizes adoption. With wonderful guide, Yisha.
End of the first week in ZZ. Milton left early the next morning for home.

 AnnaBelle snuggling and resting the first few days with mom.

3rd birthday! What a difference one year makes. It has been such a blessing to watch our family grow and AnnaBelle transform!

First

So many "first" for us this year! December was such a fun month! 
November and December happenings..
FIRST... Trip to Denver to see Natasha and visit CCAI (our adoption agency) to meet everyone, first Thanksgiving, first Christmas lights and wrapping gifts, first gingerbread house with Joy & Dad, first time to make ornaments and Christmas crafts and gingerbread cookies, first snow tubing day, first Christmas!  
AnnaBelle loves pumpkin pie and sweet potatoes.
Joy loves pumpkin pie and candy canes.
Christmas has been spread over several days so the unwrapping has been great. AnnaBelle quickly learned the fun and took it all in! She learned to sing a few partial Christmas songs. "O come wet us ador him" which was so sweet. 
Thanks be to God for his wonderful gift, Jesus!!
It has been so fun to have the girls home together. Last year, hanging AnnaBelles stocking and having Christmas without her was so hard. She was a world away. This year, she is home, happy & healthy!
It's hard to believe but we have been home ten months. The time home has passed quickly and AnnaBelles English has improved and expanded at such a rapid rate! Kids are just amazing and she is so smart.  Her sleep has improved and she is growing like crazy! We are nearing the 30# mark from a teensy 19# upon Gotcha day. She has a head full of hair and the same amount of independence. She plays baby dolls and kitchen EVERY day. Joy was laughing in the tub one night at her she was telling Joy they were taking a bath in "Mac n cheese". Such an imagination. Both girls are silly. 
I can remember the years when we longed for the love, mess, noise and fun of children! This Christmas I found myself especially tired and thankful! I told Milton in the middle of the chaos one night, "this is just what we prayed for honey".  
"Bridges take us safely from one shore to another. They carry us over an expanse we could not cover without their help. As we journey through this life, at times we need a bridge over fears, pains, losses and craziness swirling treacherously around us. God does not promise to remove struggles and 
alleviate every roadblock. What he does do is build bridges that will carry us to joy, hope and heaven. The truth is, few of us comprehend the cost and sacrifice God has paid to build the bridges for us to cross." Ann Voskamp 1000 gifts. I am especially thankful this season for the bridges God has built in  my life helping me cross over to a place of peace, healing and joy for the now times! 
My siblings were all home for the holiday which was great. The cousins had fun together! My girls are tired out from all the fun.
Merry Christmas!

Home

                                                                    Joy 2012 Fall                                                                                                                                           Fall 2011

Beginning the adoption journey to AnnaBelle in July 2011. Little did we know AnnaBelle was born Feb 2, 2011.

AnnaBelles room and closet. Getting ready! October 2012; longing to bring her home. Many prayers in this room for this child.

Referral picture October 2012

September 2013 AnnaBelles beautiful smile!

Home is where they love you! I enjoyed the time Joy and I had together just us so much. She has been a joy to watch learn, grow, love nature and is loving! We began our adoption journey to AnnaBelle in July 2011.
TODAY is the one year mark that we first saw AnnaBelles face after recieving her file through our agency. It was easy to love and want her from the first time we saw her picture and read her story!
October 22nd, 2012 we got AnnaBelles "referral".  We were so eager to be matched with this little girl we had been waiting on and praying for. "For This Child We Have Prayed For"...
So today, the girls have played outside, made a puppet craft, went on a Fall walk and chosen leaves for a fall project. We have raked leaves, ate pumpkin pie and been to the park to play. AnnaBelle woke up begging to go to the park "park momma" she would say so we gave in and went. AnnaBelles vocabulary is growing everyday, last week she said "nope" which we thought was funny. This week, she has been saying "uh huh" and hauls her "big baby" (that is the size of a 3month old) everywhere!! She has started calling herself "I" and "Abbabell" which are so sweet to hear. She sings silly songs and praise songs! I love to catch her singing to herself. Her sleep has not been perfected yet but we are working through it. She is eating & talking great, loves to climb, slide and swing. Today she asked for m&ms for breakfast. And stuck a vitamin up her nose at breakfast, that somehow with prayer & tears came out on its own! She loves Joy, everyday she says "like sissy". Joy told me today she was glad AnnaBelle was here because she has a playmate. For years I asked the Lord for two girls..and he has blessed us with them! 
It seems like so long ago that we first saw these pictures of this small framed, thin little girl with sad eyes. I would have given both my arms to have traveled that day to bring her home. But adoption doesnt work that way. It was a long wait from October to March 15th when we traveled. AnnaBelle was worth every mile of the trip, every piece of paperwork required, every prayer, every tear. She was worth everything!

Casting Crowns sings a song called "So Far To Find You", it was written about their adoption story to their daughter Hope they adopted from China also. It has stolen my heart.
"Will you let me hold you in my arms tonight/ I have come so far to find you/ Will you take my love and give up the fight/ I have come so far to find you"

Home is where they love you Joy and AnnaBelle!
 

July-August

We have had sweet AnnaBelle for four months now! Where has the time gone? I could say so much..
Sometime I watch the girls play and cannot believe she is home. She is here!
I can remember when Milton and I longed for a family and spent so many years on our infertility journey. Years. Years. It was such a hard longing to be want to be a mom and it was out of reach. Out of my control. It's a natural instinct to want to be a mom, I believe. And we couldn't make it happen. People have too much advice sometime and no one could change it. He had a plan. And God decided to grow our family a different way after our baby girl was stillborn in my second trimester. Such a painful time. He has since used our story of loss to glorify Him. God is good. He is kind. He never leaves us.  Life is hard. Sometime our five year plan doesn't work out! Sometime our ten year plan doesn't work out! God always has a plan. He has a good one. He wrote our life story before the foundations of the earth. Ephesians 2. He has proven himself gracious and constant in my life, regardless of my performance or reaction.
Having a family seemed impossible. Then Joy was born in our hearts and into our arms through adoption in 09. In 2011 we began the international adoption process for Sister. AnnaBelle aka Sister came home in March of this year. It seemed impossible that she would ever be in our arms. But she is! She is lovely. She is lively. She is silly and sassy. She is bossy and affectionate. Sometime life does seem impossible. What we are waiting for seems impossible. Hold onto Jesus..wait with Him as he makes a way through the muck and mess.  I was thinking about AnnaBelle the other night laying with her. She takes a long time to go to sleep. There are insecurities we are working through relative to sleep. But I was thinking since March 18th she has went to sleep with her mommy beside her.  So for 130 nights she has felt the comfort of a full belly, love and affection, a full milk bottle to herself, soft blankies..her very own baby doll and heard many prayers and songs. I feel like we are making a way through the wilderness and making gains! She has started saying "Mei Mei's room" and taking ownership of her room, bed and toys. From previous living conditions of having nothing that belonged to her, what a precious sound and concept! She adores Joy. She smiles SO big when Joy holds her. She calls hold me.."ba bo". She tells Joy "ba bo- ba bo" and Joy pleased picks her up and hauls her around for as LONG as she can! AnnaBelle is weighing a hearty 25# from all the watermelon, fish, chicken, pasta, French fries, Popsicles, Gatorade, bananas, bread, green beans she is eating. And chips & cauliflower. She is serious about eating and upon crawling into her booster she says "no help me do it" she is ready to eat!! She is more secure than ever before. Pictures from our July-August summer months...

Testing the water out! Dont we all in some way?

Love kids feet!

After being in love with the neigbor girls car..

Her new car came by way of Dad, this Dad loves his girls. Used but new to her. New without stickers. :) NWOS. She loves it. "Fix it" she says holding Joys toolbox of toy tools. She fixes it and washes it, pushes it and it is "Mei Mei's car".  She is unable to share that car. Its just not possible. Sorry folks. Maybe someday.

3 months post China

Where has the time gone?
We came home on March 29th Good Friday, it was a good friday!
AnnaBelle came home with many fears and so many changes in just a few short weeks. I wish I could see inside her little brain to see what she was thinking. New smells, new rooms, new food, new sounds, a family...the orphanage walls look so cold and stale. The beds are lined up and there are more than we can count in the pictures. (We can see 26) and we know there are two kids to a crib. You can do the mathematics without a calculator. All children, waiting for a family.
When we drive in the driveway now, AnnaBelle says from the backseat "home". Its the most precious sound ever to hear her say. For many reasons you can think about. Precious that she calls this home and knows it is!
She has conquered many fears and has traveled many miles and many insecurities. We are still working through a few things but they are no big deal in comparison to where we have been. God is so good and he is bringing healing to her heart each day through love, nutrition, care, prayer and this family.
She is nolonger afraid of:
the toilet flushing but loves to flush it.
the green grass outside now she likes to lay in it.
the cat and now chases Katycat until she is grumpy and hisses.
the car starting but is ready to "go".
the public bathrooms and the loud sounds.
stuffed animals and has a few chosen ones she loves.
our dog that she was so afraid of now she feeds him her snacks.
the garage door opening now she says "up" to it.
loud cars and noises outside. She identifies the train and says "choo choo".
the dumpster truck dumping the trash.
the church nursery. She points to go in and likes to watch the kids. She isnt willing to stay and play but its progress to see her not afraid of the "play room".

Oh dear friends, this child is learning and thriving! We are hearing many phrases from her the last two weeks.
"wait a minute"
"be right back"
"its okay" with a pat
"I want some milk"
"have some"
"come come sissy"
"bathtime baby"
"Lub (love) you sissy"
"hab a good day"
"see ya nexttime"
remember this is Chinglish and we understand it but others dont always.
I can see changes in her language and her play skills and confidence each week. We went to a baseball game the other night with family and she walked around to each table and greeted people with "hi". It was so good to see her confidence instead of fear of strangers. She had such stranger anxiety that I have never witnessed such fear of people when she came to us. AnnaBelle has a beautiful spirit within her and it is flourishing!

Summertime, sunshine and suntans...

Summertime has been full of outside time! AnnaBelle loves to play in the sandbox and swing. She enjoys going down the slide with "sissy" Joy. She likes to count 1-2-3 "yeay" clapping her hands. She hums twinkle twinkle and likes to hollar and be loud! Joy has had fun with her new playmate and friend. AnnaBelle has started giving selective kisses away. She kisses her "baby" and Joy and myself. She really loves her baby doll. Joy starts playing soccer in a few days and we are looking forward to watching her play and have fun! AnnaBelle has just started jumping and getting both feet off the ground. This is a biggie because when we got her in March she could not jump. Her muscles are growing stronger from all her playing and climbing, trampoline jumping and her overall coordination has improved. She is eating good and playing hard each day. Her sleep patterns have not been the best but I feel sure its part of the transition.  She takes good naps and is always ready for round 2 of play! AnnaBelle has suprised us with her great tan. She is like a chocolate raisin..she is so tan. Each day her tan gets better!! She says over and over, "mom", "no" and "come come" everyday. I do believe I see leadership skills in her!

the pantry..

Happy June everyone hope your summer is great!

Kegan and Joy 4 yrs old

AnnaBelle loves corn!

How many can fit in a step 2 play house? 5

all the kids

saying bye is hard!!

2 months + 1 week post Gotcha Day!

My intent was to blog on Saturday 1x a month.
Hasnt happened that way.
The days are busy with toys, hugs, kitchen clean up, playing outside...now putting on the girls swimsuits and playing outside in the water. AnnaBelle has found her new love outside, the watering can. She waters everything including herself. She will spend an hour filling up the watering can in the pool from the waters edge and pouring it into the bucket. Repeating over and over. With a drink from the watering can spout and a smile. So cute. While Joy is busy at work, pretending.
Tonight in the Step 2 (plastic) house the girls played and played. AnnaBelle motions me to sit down and has a word for it that I cannot pronounce but I know what it means. Pronuciation lost in translation, sorry. Her Chinglish is improving and her English is expanding. She is an echo. Saying anything. She came up with "yellow" last week one day. She says heavy "heby" and grunts. Tonight the empty shape sorter was so "heby" as she kept giving it to me and watching to see if it was as "heby" as she had made it up to be. I played along! In the Step 2 house she and Joy exchanged snacks on the porch. As she pushed the button the pretend water faucet inside she handed over drinks and food to us both. Of course, snacking on the pretend food herself as she cooked. All smiles and full participation! Very very sweet moments. AnnaBelle hollared and laughed loudly as Joy and I kicked the soccer ball around, practicing Joys kicking skills for her upcoming soccer summer games. I must say she was also digging in the sandbox during this time and she likes to taste the rocks from the sandbox. She willingly spits them out but keeps a little extra sand for teeth grinding. (eeks, as your toes curl under thinking of the sound this makes). It is true, she is always tasting the sand.
It was 2 months ago this weekend that lively, playful, noisy, loving life AnnaBelle came into our lives! She is climbing the ladder outside and now walking up the slide the wrong way (thanks to Big Sister) and hollaring from the top of the slide "ready". The two months has gone by so fast and our adjustment has been good and we are settling in. AnnaBelles sleep patterns have improved over the last week. We have a new routine, new normal around here. It is busier than before. More messy and more fun! AnnaBelle came to us very timid, afraid, silent (except for crying). She did not know we loved her so much. She didnt know what trust was. She did not know that we were trustworthy. She didn't know we would feed her, love her, hug her, kiss her and meet her every need!!  But today- she does! She has started kissing her babies and mothering them. She plays "seaset" (tea set) every morning in her room, she hums songs and makes her needs known. She has 3 more teeth than two months ago, all two year molars. And her eating has finally slowed down. I believe she knows there will be another meal and she will be fed often. She has gained some weight and is growing taller!! Her vocabulary is growing everyday. She is more confident. She fights over toys with Joy. She loves to dance and enjoys music. She loves to watch Joy. She likes her personal space. She says "no no" and shakes her head no when it is not what she wants. She loves to be outside with Milton. She likes hide and seek with Joy in the coat closet. She loves icecream and popsicles. She loves her "wa wa" ride. (wagon) She says "owl" and can hoo hoo like an owl. She calls most animals a "meow meow" and chases our old sassy cat around the house, daily. Which is such a difference from how terrified she was of both pets when we came home! She plays "baby" everyday. It is sweet to watch her nurture and care for her baby. I hope that is a reflection that she feels loved and cared for. Joy adores making her giggle. They together like to dog pile their daddy. AnnaBelle wants to be the top part of the dog pile. Smiling and laughing. My favorite phrase to hear her say is, "come come sissy". She calls Joy to come to her room, to come outside, to come inside, to come to the bathetub. Very sweet words to hear.
Since being home we have completed our first post adoption home study. One of many for the next five years. We have played at the park many times. AnnaBelle has been to the Pediatrician for vaccinations, follow ups, a redone TB test, labs..we have went to church, Hobby Lobby and the store many times. She is shy to strangers and its so funny to me that people we know will ask "can I hold her?" I believe they think she is like any other toddler that would want to be held and engage in play. BUT- she has only been here for 2 months and came from a 800 plus sized orphanage. She is learning to trust and strangers she does not! She has let our family hold her and help her with her request..she is learning, trusting and becoming more playful. She does not want to be held by someone she does not know. And, she is really attached to her momma. She is becoming more independent but it takes time.  We pray everyday that God will heal every part of her heart and emotions. I can see him doing this as we love, pray, hug, hold and play everyday!
AnnaBelle is precious and I am so thankful she is home! Joy is a good big sister and she does not like it when she is crying. Last week, I had messed with AnnaBelles little sore around her eye checking it out and she started to cry. Joy said, "whats wrong with her mom- you know the rule is not to make AnnaBelle cry!"

Consulate oath taken in GZ. Awaiting VISA. She will be a citizen when we land on American soil

on March 29th in Texas. In the oath, you swear on your life your documents are true and you will parent and take care of this child forever. It was so standard and unemotional and yet was the moment we had waited for, for so long! Your entire travel plans are planned around this appt and this day. What relief to make it back down to the first floor..finished and waiting on the bus to return us to the hotel to wait for our childs paperwork to officially go home!

Gotcha Day! March 18th Monday around noon in ZG. It was an emotional day for AnnaBelle and for us. This is the bus ride back to our hotel leaving Civial Affairs offc. People ask me about this day and its such a loaded question. It was a hard day. We had waited for so long to hold her. It was not what I expected. I had read so many books and so we were prepared for what our transition with AnnaBelle "could" look like. Im convinced that no amount of reading or prayer can prepare your heart for seeing your child grieve. It feels like nothing else in the world. Literally we started and ended the day by praying over AnnaBelle. We prayed alot during those transition days.  (I think we prayed all night the first week)  I really did trust that God knew what he was doing when he planned on us going to China. We knew it would pass and we knew that we would make progress but had no idea what speed or when. Our travel group was great and each one experienced something similar and we just did it together. Supporting one another. Gotcha Day was in a impersonal room at the Civial Affairs office, with many other people. It was amazing to see children united with families who loved them and had never met until that moment! Children with their family, no longer an orphan. They were a son or daughter to a family!  AnnaBelle today is not the same child as she was that day. She is so full of life! (Really this photo does not look like her anymore. Its amazing. She has been transformed.) AnnaBelle showed us early on her "cold shoulder" look and posture. We were told she had stranger anxiety and she did. She is still shy to strangers. We giggle because we don't see it very often with us but with strangers still. For many reasons researched we have committed to being at home, slow paced and without many changes in who is with the girls for a while. No trips planned anytime soon.

I am not an adventurous person. I am not a big traveler. Its not a secret. 2/3 of my siblings really are adventurous and would be more expected to travel to China than myself! Not because I dont like traveling but it hasnt been a priority since Milton and I have been married. For many reasons I wont post in this blog. So traveling to China to adopt was a big stretch for us and for our family to wrap around.  I totally depended on Gods plan as we packed and planned to leave. I was confident in our mission to bring Mei Mei home. As I watch AnnaBelle and think of how many more children are "waiting" in the same orphanage she was waiting in. Its hard. Its a burden you bear permanently I believe.  I dont know if we will ever return to China to adopt again? But I am so glad we did! God is so good. He is so tender for the orphans. He wants to see them in families. Human touch and love is powerful.  It was 8,000 miles over the Pacific Ocean..one way but AnnaBelle was worth it!  She is just beautiful inside and out. Joy is a great Big Sister. She is quick to defend that AnnaBelle is her sister "all the way from China".

playing chalks in her tutu

Just girls!

playing in the castle. cute legs..

Popsicle time.(first one for AB)

Mothers Day with my Mom (Nanny).

How thankful I am for these two girls the Lord has blessed us with! 1 Peter 2:4 "Chosen by God and Precious"!